I cannot believe that is already September! It blows my mind, and also makes me feel a bit panicky about the pace that time is passing by. Classes are starting and things are getting even more busy, which makes the days go by even quicker, which brings about more exhaustion... And speaking of classes, I have a ton of homework I need to pounce on, but I wanted to give some semblance of an update since too much happens in a week for me to put this off...
First off, blessings. I have met a few Namibian's here and there which is what I want to be doing a lot while I am here. I don't have much interest in staying inside the CGE house in "little America" with the other students all the time which is easy to fall into sometimes. One of the people I've met, Rosa, let me tag along with her and a few of her friends to a Spoken Word event at the College of the Arts last week. All I can say is: Awesome. I was blown away by all the people who got up to perform, there was everything from stand up comedy, to rap, to poetry, and R&B. Honestly, (with no offense to anyone I've ever heard perform before...) it was one of the best things I've even heard/seen in my life! There was a great balance of political commentary, humor, poetic form, and musical genius... yeah definitely a highlight of my time here. Luckily, this event happens at the beginning of every month so I hope to be able to get back there a couple more times during the semester.
I am also feeling more settled - realizing that although I do love and need alone time to process and do internal work, I need to also balance that out with time among others of the human race... including people inside and outside of the house. A blessing has come with realization in the fact that though I have been so good these past years at being on my own, I have also been stunting my growth in relationships with others to a certain extent. Yes I love to listen to and spend time with people, but I have not necessarily been allowing others to be a piece of MY personal growth. There are the few places where I've let people into my own weird little world, usually those who already know me well and have been a part of what I've experienced in my life. But when it comes to explaining to others why I am the way I am, and why I believe what I believe, I can see I am lacking... Part of this is because being Mennonite is more cultural than I had even understood before, (and I've been in the Mennonite bubble a good portion of my life) and so some of the common ground, or at least general understanding I usually take for granted is not present when I talk about my life, which can prove to be difficult for communication at times... But a bigger part is my conscious or unconscious ability and drive to allow others to come and change me, teach me, and surprise me. I am trying to remedy this at present, and lets hope it only continues to get better! The awesome part of this is that I get to let others into my life even more deeply, including those I've just met, and get to walk along with people hand in hand on this crazy international journey.
Speaking in more practical present tense situations... My homestay started Thursday evening and has been better than I could have hoped! I am staying with a couple Mdiku and Mgeno - Mgeno is the pastor of a Lutheran church and is a warm older gentleman who has a great laugh and sense of humor. Mdiku is a bubbly, loving host-mom who is constantly surprised at my willingness to eat whatever may come my way. They have a student living them as well who is doing an internship at their church (crazy coincidence...) her name is Iyaloo and has a joking personality and a spit fire attitude that I really enjoy. It is nice to have someone around my age who is interested in similar things hanging around the house, and who is willing to let me invade their space a bit.
On Sunday Ijaloo gave an incredible sermon talking about praise and thanksgiving to God no matter what present situation we may be in. Her words hit home not only because of past experiences, but also because I need to remember that here when I have my difficult moments. I need to remember that no matter how frustrating, sad, or overwhelming a situation may be, it will pass, and there are always things to be thankful for and things that can be gained. During the service I was fortunate to receive another huge blessing that was unexpected, and honestly undeserved. On Saturday night Ijaloo asked me to sing after the sermon, I (thinking she was joking) replied "oh yeah, ha ha"... come Sunday morning, it turns out that she was indeed being serious, and that I better go ahead and get prepared because it was happening. So, at my first Sunday in church in Namibia, I got to sing Amazing Grace after Ijaloo's sermon. And though I felt a bit awkward being this random person showing up to church one Sunday and taking up space - it was definitely one of the most powerful experiences of my life. While standing in front of the sanctuary singing this song, I heard the entire congregation humming along with me... it is difficult to explain how that felt exactly except to say that I surely felt the presence of something bigger than myself that morning, and felt connected deeply to all those individuals in that moment.
To sum up - these days I am feeling both more at ease and more restless. On one hand, I am loving getting to know this city better, loving being at my homestay and feeling like I am actually coming home each evening. On the other hand, I am in some ways feeling more anxious, sleeping with more difficulty, and at random moments am feeling frustrated that I can't just go out for a walk alone when I want to... But this is to be expected I guess when living in a very new place, and having to process so much conflicting information; one minute seeing how amazing people are, the progress communities are creating for themselves, and then the next minute seeing the conditions people are forced to live in, the inequalities that are still very much alive after Apartheid has ended, and knowing the uphill battle there is still left to fight.
I think that is all that I have for you at this present moment... sorry about the delay getting this out there - I started writing it three days ago... Hope you are doing well!
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